he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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