So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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