this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
