I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
