This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This house was built for laser tag.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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