summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
