You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
