Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
operation have a gay friend backfired
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
