He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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