Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
