It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
