Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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