I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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