I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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