He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
