I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize