Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
