Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
