She is in my trunk
i just google imaged poop.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
