as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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