i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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