Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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