The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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