I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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