Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
