Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
