Already got asked if we're dating
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
