she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize