You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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