Tell her she can't have a vagina
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
