when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Vodka?
Forever.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
