I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
