I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
