who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
