The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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