I wannas sexs uuuuu
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She announced her abortion via fbk
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
