Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize