You smell like stripper and shame
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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