So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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