All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
