I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When did angry sex become our thing?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
