Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
