just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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