The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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