so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
