Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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