So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
