): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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