How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
