woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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