ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
