How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
