I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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