Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
