I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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