Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Pants are for mortals
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
