This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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