Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
