This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize