That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
